[ this is karma for the last time, isn't it? Jen doesn't think so for very long, because it would be unfair to be that selfish, but as she rolls out of bed and re-reads the message it occurs to her how the situation was essentially reversed. ]
Give me 15. What happened?
[ might as well get some context while she gets herself armed and ready. ]
hi, um, Jen? Jen Bowen? this is Lina Geteilt but probably not the Lina Geteilt you remember me being from the past couple of months. we were roommates. are roommates? it's hard to tell because we aren't even in the city right now, or at least i'm not and i have a feeling you aren't either
i just didn't want you to think i left on purpose.
God, I was worried but with everything going on I didn't think to message you sooner.
I'm really sorry about that.
The entire apartment looks weird but your room being empty was the weirdest part by far. I thought you had glitched out or something. Lost packets. Tech stuff, I don't know.
it's okay, don't worry about it. my room was actually kind of the reason i was texting?
i don't really know what was different about me over the past two months, but i know that if we were roommates, i wasn't living with my parents, when they still had a house and we weren't all inside a computer or something. i'm not sure, it's complicated, but i think you know what i mean
and honestly, i've been wanting to find a place of my own lately i think if i'm sitting at home all the time with people who aren't on the app, i'm just going to get worried about them more often. you know, when things happen to them and not me or vice versa it's going to be a big undertaking, but i guess what i'm asking is whether you want to be roommates again?
Okay, Lina, no offense? But you really need to slow down for me.
First of all: of course it's fine if you want to stay.
Or move back in.
Whatever the best way to phrase that is.
Second of all: I don't understand what you mean by things being different about you, but I think I had an idea. I'm the... opposite, you could say. It's complicated. I'm still wrapping my head around it. But as far as I can tell I haven't changed a second time, if that makes sense?
Third: how do you feel about dogs? Please tell me you're not allergic, because that would be a dealbreaker.
that makes sense to me, yeah. i'm sorry, sometimes i just get nervous and words start happening. if you want to meet up and talk about things, i can do that, but i know there's a lot to still think about and i want to make sure you have space and time to do it first.
thank you for saying i can, um, keep up this arrangement? i do really, really want to keep being roommates with you
I don't know. Is there a bar in town that you like? We could always just stay at my place but I feel like I'm always asking you to do that. I need to stop being a shut-in and actually go out into the world.
Getting you out is a good idea, but just how "out" are you looking to be?
[ in case that is too subtle. ]
Felicia's bar has a chill atmosphere, and I can probably bribe security to let me bring in birthday cupcakes in spite of the "no outside food" rule. But it's not going to be as much of a party as going to the dance club. The gay dance club.
You want me to celebrate my birthday at a gay dance club? God that sounds risky, what if people realize who I am? I guess there's plausible deniability. I can go to a gay club and not be gay, right?
[It's just one of their nights in, sitting around, enjoying each other's company. And the dogs too, of course. Can't forget them, but as it's getting late there's something Kara's been putting off telling Jen. She's gotten up to go to the bathroom, but instead of sitting down when she returns, she stays upright, giving the other blonde a quick smile.]
...There's something I've kinda been meaning to tell you. Now seems like the time, if that's cool. Nothing awful, just...something I wanna put out there.
[ for it being one of the rare times she's over at Kara's house instead of her own place, or the shop's back area, Jen is fairly relaxed. there are memories formed from the awkward time spent navigating the space inside a body that wasn't hers, and obviously letting one more person know more about her personal life past the surface. but. she's largely gotten over that.
just bundling up, nursing some tea, lazily watching the dogs tucker each other out or nap... it's a good night. a deservedly peaceful night for the both of them. about damn time. ]
Hm? [ it takes her a moment to draw her gaze away from their faithful companions. the words sink in a moment later and she straightens up from her slouch just to make it clearer that Kara has her full attention. ] Oh sure! Yeah, go ahead. I'm all ears. [ and not all nerves. not yet anyway. ]
[Kara takes a deep breath, listening carefully for changes in Jen's heartbeat, hoping she hasn't made her antsy. Or more antsy than necessary. Her hands close around the hem of her shirt, a sign she's a little bit nervous, but she doesn't clam up or stammer, at least.]
So last month, when I was a demon? Devil? Succubus? Whatever the hell I was...
[Her eyes flit towards the bathroom...]
I sorta...seduced your roommate...
[Jen had told her about their previous escapade, and this felt cyclical. Lina, Willbreaker of Blondes.]
[ "who goes around, comes around?" or something like that. Jen shifts her weight so that she sinks further into the cushions, but her surprised gaze doesn't leave Kara's face.
actually, "surprised" isn't quite the right word. it's not like something like this happening was inevitable but given exactly how crazy last month was for everyone, and how Jen and others close to her acted, it's more the surprise that she didn't somehow walk into the middle of it or sniff it out on her own.
so. perhaps it was more accurate to say that finding out that it happened so soon and under her nose was more accurate?
the thoughts are taking far too long to process, drawing out the silence between one word and the next. ]
Um, okay. Wow. [ now she looks down into her lap. it's a good time to set her cup down on the coffee table. ] I'm.... guessing it worked, or we wouldn't be having this talk.
[the camera is on her roommate's smiling face, blue hair and blue eyes prominent in the early morning light. she's in Jen's room and seems comfortable there.]
Right now it's the beginning of January 2019. If you're watching this, you probably found it on your phone, and you probably lost the app, too. That doesn't mean anything to you if you did, but... well. I noticed a lot of our friends were falling off of it lately, and I just wanted to make sure that you had something to remember me by.
See, if you lost the app, you won't really remember the time we spent together and all the things we did. So I'm... I guess this is just a journal? Or something. Um. Sorry for taking your phone to do this, by the way. You're out on your morning routine right now and I want this to be a surprise for you.
I'll keep checking in. See you in a few.
---
Hey Jen, it's Lina.
[she's in her room, face down on her bed, feet kicked up behind her. the background has some anime posters clearly in sight.]
They're doing a rerun of an event with Fortis in it. You know, in that game I play? Oh, you probably don't remember... well, he's this tiny little bull, and the actual servant is Diana, who's one of those people that I remember saying was maybe a little much for me? I'll let you be the judge.
[and she turns the camera on Jen's phone to face her own phone, where Diana (and Fortis) are pulled up in her in-game room. she's... well. she's definitely buxom. the focus is on Lina's voice for the rest of the video.]
We have to kill a bunch of things to get dumplings to trade in for other things, and it's a really good way to take my mind off why I'm making these videos. Just thought I'd keep you updated on what I'm doing in my room all the time.
[she reaches out for her own phone to tap a "stop recording" button that isn't there.]
Oh, right, I'm on yours.
---
Hey Jen, it's Lina.
[she's taken Jen's phone out to the main room of their apartment now, with Zwei in her lap and his little puppy snout licking her face. she's giggling as she tries to talk.]
And this is Zwei. I found out that Kara lost her dog because it came from the app, so I thought I'd take some videos of him, too. He's the cutest little thing in the world, isn't he? You told me he's been through the mail a couple times before, so he's probably still out there, between the layers or... whatever Zee used to tell us.
[the corners of her lips turn down just a bit.]
Anyway, I'm going to go feed him, but I wanted to let you know that we... you know, we had him and he's the best. And I miss both of you.
---
Hey Jen, it's Lina.
[she's keeping her voice as quiet as possible; the clock on the stove reads 2:16, its green numbers the biggest light source here.]
Great news. Natalia got the app back. She was gone for over a month and she's finally back, and we're taking the time to catch each other up. That's why I'm up so late and why I had to sneak into your room while you were sleeping to get your phone.
Anyway, if she can get it back then maybe... you know. Maybe you'll come back, too. But more people are leaving, and I'm getting... really worried that you might have to watch these sooner instead of later.
[a sigh in the darkness.]
I hope I'm wrong. Or I hope that if you're watching these, you can come back. I hope it's as easy as hearing my voice.
---
[this one doesn't open with her standard greeting. it's a short clip of her in the middle of the day; Jen's phone is on the bed, looking up at the ceiling with anime posters at the corner of the frame. again, Lina's voice is the focus. she doesn't sound broken up at the beginning, but she makes it through the first verse and chorus of a song that she hasn't been able to stop listening to before her voice breaks and she has to stop.]
---
Hey, Jen. It's Lina.
[her eyes are red.]
It's... most of the way through February right now. And I don't think you're here anymore. [sniff.] I thought I'd have more time to make these videos for you, but you probably won't let me use your phone anymore. For all I know you might just... delete these and think that I'm just completely full of shit. But you should know I'm not this good at acting.
[she reaches up and wipes her eye with the back of her hand.]
And if you lost the app, I'm probably going to lose it too, soon. I hope I do. I don't want to keep doing this without you. I used to think I'd be strong enough to stay on here and keep protecting people, and I am, and I'm going to keep doing it, but... but I'm not afraid of losing the app anymore. Because you're already gone, and I don't know if it hurts more being the only one who still remembers how you used to be than it would to fall back down the layers and not... not remember any of this anymore.
[Jen's phone falls to one side as her hand drops and she just makes the ugliest sob. her sheets and pillow are in frame and there's obvious wet spots on both of them. after she's. recovered enough to be okay with showing her face again, she coughs thickly and brings Jen's phone back up.]
You are the most important person in my life, Jen. Even if that doesn't mean anything to you anymore. You helped... save my family, you saved my life, you made me happier than I've ever been just from knowing you and being roommates with you and I just. I can't bear to look at you and know that everything we did together isn't there anymore. I'm sorry. I'm so... so sorry. It's not even your fault. It's not fair. It's not fair!
[a few seconds of silence as she closes her eyes and tries to control her breathing.]
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text; late at night
Right now.
Please.
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Give me 15.
What happened?
[ might as well get some context while she gets herself armed and ready. ]
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Damn
I'm so sorry, Vera
I'll be there quick as I can
[ well, as fast as traffic laws will allow. Jen's feeling urgent but she's not that reckless. ]
-> Action
Be safe. The doors are unlocked.
[And Jen will find the stairwell clear and the front door unlocked, with a nightie-clad Vera pacing madly in the living room.]
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text from inside the digital world, 9/7
we were roommates. are roommates? it's hard to tell because we aren't even in the city right now, or at least i'm not and i have a feeling you aren't either
i just didn't want you to think i left on purpose.
new phone who dis
God, I was worried but with everything going on I didn't think to message you sooner.
I'm really sorry about that.
The entire apartment looks weird but your room being empty was the weirdest part by far. I thought you had glitched out or something. Lost packets. Tech stuff, I don't know.
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i don't really know what was different about me over the past two months, but i know that if we were roommates, i wasn't living with my parents, when they still had a house and we weren't all inside a computer or something. i'm not sure, it's complicated, but i think you know what i mean
and honestly, i've been wanting to find a place of my own lately
i think if i'm sitting at home all the time with people who aren't on the app, i'm just going to get worried about them more often. you know, when things happen to them and not me or vice versa
it's going to be a big undertaking, but i guess what i'm asking is whether you want to be roommates again?
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First of all: of course it's fine if you want to stay.
Or move back in.
Whatever the best way to phrase that is.
Second of all: I don't understand what you mean by things being different about you, but I think I had an idea. I'm the... opposite, you could say. It's complicated. I'm still wrapping my head around it. But as far as I can tell I haven't changed a second time, if that makes sense?
Third: how do you feel about dogs? Please tell me you're not allergic, because that would be a dealbreaker.
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thank you for saying i can, um, keep up this arrangement? i do really, really want to keep being roommates with you
especially if you have a dog now
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text
its may
we should prolly talk.
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Oh
Yeah
We should
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if im bein real witchu
i have no idea how to start this conversation
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I'm still reeling from the last few months.
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like what all do u remember about me
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Any chance you'd be up to grab a drink or something?
It was my birthday a couple weeks ago but
Well you know.
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Who knows what could have happened.
But yeah! I'm free to go. Whatever you want to do.
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We could always just stay at my place but I feel like I'm always asking you to do that.
I need to stop being a shut-in and actually go out into the world.
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[ in case that is too subtle. ]
Felicia's bar has a chill atmosphere, and I can probably bribe security to let me bring in birthday cupcakes in spite of the "no outside food" rule.
But it's not going to be as much of a party as going to the dance club.
The gay dance club.
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God that sounds risky, what if people realize who I am?
I guess there's plausible deniability. I can go to a gay club and not be gay, right?
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Some Night
...There's something I've kinda been meaning to tell you. Now seems like the time, if that's cool. Nothing awful, just...something I wanna put out there.
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just bundling up, nursing some tea, lazily watching the dogs tucker each other out or nap... it's a good night. a deservedly peaceful night for the both of them. about damn time. ]
Hm? [ it takes her a moment to draw her gaze away from their faithful companions. the words sink in a moment later and she straightens up from her slouch just to make it clearer that Kara has her full attention. ] Oh sure! Yeah, go ahead. I'm all ears. [ and not all nerves. not yet anyway. ]
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So last month, when I was a demon? Devil? Succubus? Whatever the hell I was...
[Her eyes flit towards the bathroom...]
I sorta...seduced your roommate...
[Jen had told her about their previous escapade, and this felt cyclical. Lina, Willbreaker of Blondes.]
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[ "who goes around, comes around?" or something like that. Jen shifts her weight so that she sinks further into the cushions, but her surprised gaze doesn't leave Kara's face.
actually, "surprised" isn't quite the right word. it's not like something like this happening was inevitable but given exactly how crazy last month was for everyone, and how Jen and others close to her acted, it's more the surprise that she didn't somehow walk into the middle of it or sniff it out on her own.
so. perhaps it was more accurate to say that finding out that it happened so soon and under her nose was more accurate?
the thoughts are taking far too long to process, drawing out the silence between one word and the next. ]
Um, okay. Wow. [ now she looks down into her lap. it's a good time to set her cup down on the coffee table. ] I'm.... guessing it worked, or we wouldn't be having this talk.
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[the camera is on her roommate's smiling face, blue hair and blue eyes prominent in the early morning light. she's in Jen's room and seems comfortable there.]
Right now it's the beginning of January 2019. If you're watching this, you probably found it on your phone, and you probably lost the app, too. That doesn't mean anything to you if you did, but... well. I noticed a lot of our friends were falling off of it lately, and I just wanted to make sure that you had something to remember me by.
See, if you lost the app, you won't really remember the time we spent together and all the things we did. So I'm... I guess this is just a journal? Or something. Um. Sorry for taking your phone to do this, by the way. You're out on your morning routine right now and I want this to be a surprise for you.
I'll keep checking in. See you in a few.
---
Hey Jen, it's Lina.
[she's in her room, face down on her bed, feet kicked up behind her. the background has some anime posters clearly in sight.]
They're doing a rerun of an event with Fortis in it. You know, in that game I play? Oh, you probably don't remember... well, he's this tiny little bull, and the actual servant is Diana, who's one of those people that I remember saying was maybe a little much for me? I'll let you be the judge.
[and she turns the camera on Jen's phone to face her own phone, where Diana (and Fortis) are pulled up in her in-game room. she's... well. she's definitely buxom. the focus is on Lina's voice for the rest of the video.]
We have to kill a bunch of things to get dumplings to trade in for other things, and it's a really good way to take my mind off why I'm making these videos. Just thought I'd keep you updated on what I'm doing in my room all the time.
[she reaches out for her own phone to tap a "stop recording" button that isn't there.]
Oh, right, I'm on yours.
---
Hey Jen, it's Lina.
[she's taken Jen's phone out to the main room of their apartment now, with Zwei in her lap and his little puppy snout licking her face. she's giggling as she tries to talk.]
And this is Zwei. I found out that Kara lost her dog because it came from the app, so I thought I'd take some videos of him, too. He's the cutest little thing in the world, isn't he? You told me he's been through the mail a couple times before, so he's probably still out there, between the layers or... whatever Zee used to tell us.
[the corners of her lips turn down just a bit.]
Anyway, I'm going to go feed him, but I wanted to let you know that we... you know, we had him and he's the best. And I miss both of you.
---
Hey Jen, it's Lina.
[she's keeping her voice as quiet as possible; the clock on the stove reads 2:16, its green numbers the biggest light source here.]
Great news. Natalia got the app back. She was gone for over a month and she's finally back, and we're taking the time to catch each other up. That's why I'm up so late and why I had to sneak into your room while you were sleeping to get your phone.
Anyway, if she can get it back then maybe... you know. Maybe you'll come back, too. But more people are leaving, and I'm getting... really worried that you might have to watch these sooner instead of later.
[a sigh in the darkness.]
I hope I'm wrong. Or I hope that if you're watching these, you can come back. I hope it's as easy as hearing my voice.
---
[this one doesn't open with her standard greeting. it's a short clip of her in the middle of the day; Jen's phone is on the bed, looking up at the ceiling with anime posters at the corner of the frame. again, Lina's voice is the focus. she doesn't sound broken up at the beginning, but she makes it through the first verse and chorus of a song that she hasn't been able to stop listening to before her voice breaks and she has to stop.]
---
Hey, Jen. It's Lina.
[her eyes are red.]
It's... most of the way through February right now. And I don't think you're here anymore. [sniff.] I thought I'd have more time to make these videos for you, but you probably won't let me use your phone anymore. For all I know you might just... delete these and think that I'm just completely full of shit. But you should know I'm not this good at acting.
[she reaches up and wipes her eye with the back of her hand.]
And if you lost the app, I'm probably going to lose it too, soon. I hope I do. I don't want to keep doing this without you. I used to think I'd be strong enough to stay on here and keep protecting people, and I am, and I'm going to keep doing it, but... but I'm not afraid of losing the app anymore. Because you're already gone, and I don't know if it hurts more being the only one who still remembers how you used to be than it would to fall back down the layers and not... not remember any of this anymore.
[Jen's phone falls to one side as her hand drops and she just makes the ugliest sob. her sheets and pillow are in frame and there's obvious wet spots on both of them. after she's. recovered enough to be okay with showing her face again, she coughs thickly and brings Jen's phone back up.]
You are the most important person in my life, Jen. Even if that doesn't mean anything to you anymore. You helped... save my family, you saved my life, you made me happier than I've ever been just from knowing you and being roommates with you and I just. I can't bear to look at you and know that everything we did together isn't there anymore. I'm sorry. I'm so... so sorry. It's not even your fault. It's not fair. It's not fair!
[a few seconds of silence as she closes her eyes and tries to control her breathing.]
I'm sorry. I don't know what else I can say.
I love you, Jen.